Post-Battle Back | Confessionals

It's good to be back. I felt like I was going to die in that challenge. I am never doing something like that again. I wish I had this perseverance last season as Villanelle, I would've snagged that DPOV away from Buffy Summers and won the season instead of her and I wouldn't even be in this season.

I find myself in an alliance with Kway Hargreeves, Kam, Barney Stinson and David Rose. I think this is a good alliance to be in for the time being, that being said, I doubt I'm a significant member of that alliance and I am probably the most expendable and only serve as a shield for them.

I need to figure out a way for me to be adaptable in this game and have back up plans just in case. I just don't want to look like an overplaying asshole just yet. For the time being I think I need to just stick with this alliance and figure out a big play to make later down the line.

One of my main concerns right now is who has what powers. I don't know if anyone has the DPOV but if it is out there, I'm not going to allow it to help whoever has it steamroll the season in the way Buffy did last season. I want to aggressively target the people who I think might have it. I was online all night last night and I saw who was online for the longest amount of time. I think Peter, Liza might have advantages.

I want to keep my options open though in the game and I want people to look at me as someone who they think they can flip over with them.

What a night this was. I really couldn’t have scripted this whole night any better. Winning HOH and nominating the perfect pairing of people in Ariana Grande and Peter Griffin. Ariana being evicted and then Peter quitting, both of my nominees are out of the game in one clean swoop. I make no immediate enemies from this HOH reign.

Things would get complicated afterwards though but still it worked out to my favor in many different ways. Liza winning HOH was very good, because I put in the work with her to make her feel like I could be someone that she could use to her advantage and hide behind. Her winning and then refusing to even consider me as a backdoor option was a huge optic win. This makes her look weak and it makes me look like some kind of master manipulator. It’s excellent.

Klaus felt like some kind of figurehead in this game. For whatever reason, people felt like he was the natural winner and I think he would’ve been hard to beat at the end. The fact that he’s acting like it was the dumbest move ever to not take me out, sends a clear sign to the jury. This is the kind of thing I’ve always struggled with, overcoming the perception problem. If I’m perceived as the biggest threat, and somebody who overcame the most odds to win and there are people in the game who are unable and unwilling to take me out. If I can become that kind of figure in this game and still make it to the end. My chances increase greatly at winning over a jury.

Klaus trying to backdoor me again and being unable to succeed at swaying Liza was wonderful. I’m enjoying the hell out of this game and I’m playing like someone who has nothing to lose.

I’m no idiot though, it’s very clear the the ENTIRE house is just sucking up to me out of fear. I’m truly in a position where I can have a lot of sway by just instilling fear in people because of my insane challenge abilities. It’s a double edged sword, however. It’s VERY obvious that the moment somebody has to take a clean shot at me without the risk of me being able to retaliate, they will do it. No question about it. I will have to pretty much win out to have any shot at sniffing the finals.

It’s very obvious though that people are throwing each other under the bus because they are nervous about me finding things out and me targeting them. David Rose is a good ally of mine, he’s loyal and he proved that to me by telling me that Barney had flirted with the idea of maybe trying to backdoor me. Do I think David Rose himself won’t try to take me out if he had the chance? No way, he definitely would. But I want to utilize this fear people have of me to gain knowledge and more power.

"The Unthinkables" is dead to me as an alliance, but I'll continue to act like a dumdum and pretend it's real still to me. But none of those people want to work with me long term, it's so fucking obvious. Kam and Barney will take me out the first chance they get.

If I had to guess, I’ll fall short in one of these veto competitions, and I’ll be out of the game. Every single person in the house will want this on their resume. They want to be able to be the one who can say they took out Rose the Hat. Obviously, I'm going to fight as hard as I possibly can for that to not happen though.

Tonight’s POV win was the most satisfying win in the two seasons I played of BBQ. It was stressful as shit. When I finished that first round, I knew I had either won or at the very least tied because I got the best possible time stamp. When I saw that somebody tied with me, that put me on high alert. Shelli wanted me out badly tonight, she busted ass in that POV and I’m thankful I was still able to come up on top. That was a do or die challenge, I would be evicted if I hadn’t won that. Clutch with a capital C.

The people left in the game are all scared of me and their behavior around me varies from dead silence to ass kissing depending on the day and the hour. If it looks like I’m about to be in a position of significant power, it’s ass kissing. When I am in a position of no power or vulnerability it’s dead silence.

Liza, Patrick and David have done the best job to making me feel like I should be good to them and to reward them, They seemed to show me the most transparency. Sure it’s all based off of fear, but everyone in the game wants me out, I still have to make decisions and try to figure out who wants me out the least. I think those 3 think they can utilize me for their benefit so there’s mutual interest there.

We’re late enough in the game that I don’t need group alliances. I’m focusing on the individual connections I’ve made and trying to utilize that to my benefit.

Kam has been also pretty good with communicating with me and being upfront. I like that. I told her straight up that I think the Unthinkables is a bullshit facade operation made to keep me in check and to keep me feeling safe. Sorry, I don’t fall for false senses of security manufactured by people who actually want me out.

Shelli Poole definitely shot herself in the foot in her failed attempt to evict me tonight. She knows she’s on the hot seat with me and her inability to defeat me in the POV was big. I hope this failure will come back to haunt her and I get her out of this game.

I hope Barney Stinson is evicted tonight but it’ll be up to Shelli casting a tie breaking vote. Who the hell knows what she’ll do. Barney is a sneak and he has no idea that so many people in the game are throwing him under the bus to me as someone who wants me out. I do not feel bad at all trying to evict him.

This game is quickly getting to the end it’s surprising that I’m still in. My goal coming back was to come in like a tornado and completely uproot the status quo. Everyone had to readjust their games and strategy to take into account how much of a challenge whore I am. I hope I can continue in this game as long as I possibly can. I love how fearful everyone is of me.

The way I’m playing in this game shows why I was so heartbroken to be taken out when I was in season 2. I really could’ve fucked up Buffy and Aaron’s game if I hadn’t been evicted.

It being a final 3 complicates things for me a bit. I think it may or may not weaken my chances to win at the end during the jury phase, but I'm not sure.

The way I see it, Elizaveta Tuktamysheva needs to be evicted tonight because I think she would give everyone the most problems. She has dark horse energy to her and I can see her being the most eloquent and persuasive. The problem is I don't trust Shelli and Patrick enough to be smart to evict her if they're the one making the decision.

If I'm off the block and in the position to evict her, I will.

I'm no Stacia Lang. I know how to make strong arguments. I hope people use season 1 history as a factor in their minds thinking it would be smart to take me to the end. I'm an absolute snake oil salesman who can spin words around. I do think I'm a very persuasive person and I do think people will be surprised by how I'll go about with my speeches and answers tonight. I obviously think it's an uphill battle no matter what, but I'm going to make things tough and interesting no matter what. I know how to sell snow to an eskimo.

It's all about predicting what they'll likely use as their arguments and preemptively discredit those arguments before they even make them. I also want to preemptively defend any points that I predict will be used against me before it's even used against me.

I'll probably write more thoughts later before the challenge.

I also have a few possible questions in mind in the case I am evicted. It's very much up in the air for me right now.