Is Truth Really Stranger than Fiction?

This is where I reveal the white lies about my life in order to hide my identity xoxo

Fiction: I am a customer service manager at a grocery store.

Truth: No but back in college I was the lead bookkeeper at a store where I was basically the backup to the customer service manager. And yes when she went on vacation I took over and I got paid her salary for that week. Life was good then <3 But yes, every story I talked about in retail is 100% accurate xoxo

Fiction: I am currently living in Denver, Colorado.

Fact: No I actually live in Houston, Texas where I have lived here all my life and I love it even though the humidity at time is ass. I had been to Denver in 2019 actually, where I did go visit the great outdoors and attempted to climb the Rocky Mountains but I was so out of shape that I barely made it to like the first little hump in the mountain before calling it a day and even the trek down was fun since I was so rotund I looked like a little avalanche ball tumbling down the mountainside.

Fiction: I have a seven year old daughter and I was a teenage mom!!

Fact: No I’m very much a gay man so it’s biologically impossible for me to give birth to one of those hellish creatures. I mean there was that one ftm guy who gave birth but that had a reason!

Adam Sandler thinks I’m legit a single mom with a daughter named Christina sjfkakckajc HALP. He says after the season we need to be good friends since we have so much in common. This is going to be a HILARIOUS reveal!

Not Christina lmfao

Fiction: I don’t want to have thunder thighs!!

Fact: Oh please I’m a gay man lmaoooo. I need that hourglass figure!! I don’t even know why I’m having this conversation with Michael HALP. I am going to piss off sooo many people with my reveal. I keep going on and on in detail with my fake bio omg.

Just to clarify for anyone who reads post season, I didn’t lie about my life experiences.

But anything relating to these above lies, yes.

I’m not that eccentric xoxo