Diary Room Thoughts!

Night 14.

The Battle Back is officially done. By the time I wake up, I will know what these results are going to be. I'm very curious because it could be anything. I think I have my money on Pedro and Syd coming back, which is honestly fine with me. I think they're cool. Now about this battle back...

I thought it was personally crap that Kway was able to use his advantage (in everyone's defense, it was not stated that the advantage was only good as long as he didn't get voted out) but that was again, one of the reasons why he was voted out in the first place lol. I knew I wasn't going to do this competition from jump because that's A LOT of time. I am slightly kicking myself thought knowing some of these advantages that was available. So, right now I'm trying to get this 4 way alliance with Jim, Villanelle, and Natalie but I need them to confirm it with me first because the theme this season has been "I didn't give consent to this alliance". As I write this though, Natalie is a HORRIBLE alliance member. She's never freaking on this thing so who knows when she's going to get me message. I think if the four of us could stick together that would be idea in managing whatever comes our way moving forward.

It's so crazy to think that we are entering week three into this competition. Half way there. The madness and overthinking will begin again once I wake up. Let's try and win something. And let's hope Daenerys A) Loses the battle back and B) Didn't take the deal to be on the jury. Really sad we didn't connect during this game. We both watch Survivor and Sequester (and ofcourse Big Brother). Could of been fun. Oh well girl.

-CVB

Night 15.

PRAISE THE LORD WE GOT A DAY OFF!!!

Who would of thought straight up gaming for two weeks could end up being SO tiring. My brain is thankful I didn’t have to panic about who the HOH was going to be and how I can avoid the block. Everyone agreed to the group! So it’s going to be Me, Jim, Villanelle, and Natalie coming together as the fantastic 4. Now I just wait for Arisa to create the group lol. The winner of the battle back is PEDRO!! Now that I reflect on this, I’m not too sure I’m happy he is back. Pros are that he’s great to talk to, my showmance is back, and he wins comp. the cons though is that I was having SO MUCH MOMENTUM with everyone else. I didn’t have Pedro for more than a week and I just had to think how I was getting to the next night. I need Pedro on the jury, and I need him on the jury EARLY. He will make sure he’s #TeamCameron. Now isn’t the time to lose focus. Final 9. We need some luck on our side soon. As I go to sleep, I keep thinking about the advantages that Buffy and Aaron has, and debate on if we pull them out now or let them expire. The problem with letting them expire is that it’s essentially giving them a free pass. We also don’t know who has what? I think Aaron has the immunity and Buffy has the DPOV. We just need to ensure they DON’T win the HOH. The struggle is already real thinking about it.

-CVB

Night 16.

Big Brother is a game. No one stated it had to be a fair game.

Welp...I’m on the block again. Aaron won HOH which is quite frankly some bullshit because HE WAS ALREADY SAFE TO BEGIN WITH AND SHOULDN’T OF HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO PLAY IN THE HOH!!!!!!!! I’m going to sleep confident that I’m gonna stay, I hope Villanelle’s desperate speech was the nail in her coffin to go home. I cant believe I’m playing with a bunch of b*tches! Couldn’t even stick with an alliance for one fuckin day before it came back to Aaron and Buffy. We really are playing for 3rd place. It’s crazy. I don’t regret it at all. I’d do it again. We’re in jury. What is there to lose at this point? There can only be one winner. If I do survive this vote, then I think I need to go with the “if you can’t beat them, join them” I feel like Sandra I’m Heroes vs Villains. Trying to do everything she could to align with the heroes, but they didn’t want to work with her so she was stuck with the villains (I’m not calling Aaron and Buffy villains per say, but they are public enemy 1 and 2). Again, could be my last post as a player. Let’s see if this house is full of conspiring b*tches or not lol.

-CVB

Night 17.

To be frank, I’m over the bullshit. I’m over not winning anything, and I’m definitely over TIMES COMPETITIONS!!! I know in my heart of hearts that Aaron did not type 22 first and last names in alphabetical order in 2 minutes today for the win. Miss with all of that. The fact that he’s been able to compete in practically every veto (because he’s usually the first one to respond) and then anything that requires time and NO type of skill he’s practically penciled in as the winner is FRUSTRATING. I’m BEGGING for some diversity in some of these comps. Things that require skill like tonight’s HOH, or even luck so that there’s atleast some variance in those with power. I’m sure that is why this season has become to Aaron and Buffy show, and we’re all just costars. Tonight was frustrating. Tonight I almost was like “screw this, I’m just going to log on and watch and just wait for my eviction because there’s no way I’m going to win this whole thing let alone a comp”...

BUT. Within my frustrating thoughts, I have created a Hail Mary play. I need to create chaos. I need to create distrust! *insert evil laugh here * I’m going to vote to evict Natalie so that it’s a 4-1 vote. I’m sure everyone is going to question who the I want to lick you was that one vote, and I know they’re going to question me. I’m going to deny it. If enough people wonder about it, I’m going to make a public form, and everyone is going to be confused and not trust no one. I don’t think I’m winning, and I’m sure I’m the next one to go. Let’s have some fun with it now lol. What’s going to be great too is that there’s going to be two days of thinking about this vote. If it works great, if not, oh well. This path is too linear right now. Let’s f*ck shit up! How strong are the relationships I’ve built? Let’s find out.

Also, Buffy said no one knows where my allegiance is...oh well #FloaterLife haha.

Can I really survive a double? THAT would be hilarious lol.

-CVB

Also, Arisa, I know you be peaking in DRs every now and then. What happens if I may have a conflict? Like how many days notice would you need? This is Ofcourse entertaining the concept that I’m surviving the DE on Thursday lol.

Night 18.

Another night off with no competition! We had a luxury comp which is cool. It was a little rough to execute only because we didn’t know what the judges would be looking for or like what angle we would approach for the proper rating. For the song I was originally going to do the Tickle my Skittle Destroyers “Break Up, Bye Bye”, but switched it last second to Take Me There which is associated with the Rugrats Movie because who doesn’t like nostalgia right? For the movie clip, I knew RIGHT AWAY I was going to do White Chicks and when I saw the mother jokes on YouTube it was a no brained. The short story was the hardest, because what plot line do you do with quarantine. I went with romance/horror? I always like the stories where there’s somewhat of a spin to it. I feel good! Maybe I can win this one lol.

With days off from competition, I have more time to reflect. I read through my past diary entries, and I’m REALLY hard on myself. I think thats just my competitive nature. I just want to win so badly and have control of my destiny, I feel like throughout this time, I’m always at the wim of others (that’s kind of the format of BB though lol). But to make final 7 in a season like this is such a huge accomplishment. I’ve never played an ORG of any format. I realize that there is a learning curve to master (example, typing out the names of what didn’t belong vs just copying and pasting the correct answer). I’m trying my best, and that’s all I can do. I can’t control how I do in competitions, but I can control my social game, and I think I’m doing that well. Out of 7 players remaining, I’m good with Sponge, Nat, DW, and Buffy. That’s 4 out of 6! I know I was down on myself not even believing I can survive a DE, but now that I think about it. I just might! Can’t count my chickens before I hatch though. Let’s take things one day at a time.

Btw, I’m sure Aaron think he’s a shoe-in for final 2 thinking him and Buffy can win it all. Has he forgotten the most important thing? JURY MANAGEMENT! To not accept an olive branch when extended to someone you probably think is going to be on the jury is CRAZY! It’s going to be a wild finish, but moving forward I’m just going to try my hardest, and enjoy the ride.

-CVB

<3