immunity

Duck, Lemur, Raccoon

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a bunch of random animals who all lived together despite most of them not liking each other. Arisa and her sister Saoirse were the weird animal lovers who for some reason wanted to invest in a zoo in their home and so they went out of their way to find whatever animal they can find on Craigslist, animal shelters, shady corners in the shady parts of town, etc. Arisa usually did the smart thing in going in person to buy these critters, but for whatever reason Saoirse always bought them in the most shady ways. One time someone had told her to meet her in a Walmart parking lot for a pet frog and to bring nobody else and for whatever reason she thought it would be a ~wonderful~ idea lolwut. She clearly was not thinking very well because there is always those random stories of people wandering into strange places with strange people and ending up in a food processor.

So this particular story has a trio of friends who met each other over time in this zoo-topia. There is Leslie the Lemur, Rae the Raccoon, and Daphne the Duck. Leslie the Lemur had a very strange deer-in-headlights expression pretty much present at all hours of the day. She just forever looked dazed and confused like she had just snorted a bunch of glue and then she would randomly talk about warming up pizza in an easy-bake oven and then cutting them into star-shaped pieces because for whatever reason she thought she was a star. Whenever people would tell her "Good morning" she would just reply with the most awkward smile known to man. Whenever people would tell her "excuse me, I have no idea who you are,"  she would again reply with a creepy smile. As you can tell, she was extremely not popular with the other animals who could not appreciate the type of over-the-top awkwardness that she provided. Most of them did not approve of her, telling her she needs to learn some social grace because she usually weirded people out.

Then there was Rae the Raccoon who had no idea what was going on half the time. Leslie would always tell her about the weirdest topics she had discovered on Reddit and Rae literally had no idea what she was talking about half the time, if at all. One time they had a full hour discussion about the ethics of cutting the grass. Apparently there is some random plants' activist movement going on and people are growing upset by the increase in well-trimmed lawns.  Rae would typically just nod at these kinds of discussions and move on. She wanted to become friends with Leslie the Lemur after Leslie told her that they could be emo twins. Rae thought it was weird at the time but she was glad that someone was talking to her so she figured why not. Even if Leslie spent a lot of time looking through people's windows at least there was a genuine aura around her, even if she spent a lot of her time smelling people's shoes.

And then there was Daphne the Duck who spent a lot of time banging her head against the wall like a New Age teenager. Every time she spoke to someone about anything, it would end with a headbang. "Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Daphne the Duck asdjflkasjdfklkk" *bangs head on wall*. She was the last one to join the Arisa zoo and has made it a lot better with her presence alone. Before she was there, many of the animals found were in bad condition. They randomly had missing fur, injured feet and hands, and other characteristics that made them unappealing to the public eye, but once Daphne the Duck arrived she spent a lot of time helping them through their dark times and inspiring them to do better.

So one day, the three animals were hanging out by the window and laughing at all the kids who were walking by. Leslie would just smile at them and there was a time when the kids threw a tomato at the window when she was creepily staring at them. Rae was standing by her at the time and jumped back in fear but Leslie was grinning ear to ear. Rae did not understand why nothing seemed to phase Leslie but she was not going to question it. If Leslie wanted to spend all day sitting like a statue, Rae was not about to change that. Daphne would jump back in fear but would immediately go back to the window and gaze out the window with her buddy Leslie.

But today was different. Instead of annoying kids making their way down the street acting like idiots, they instead a weird elf-dragon hybrid WUT. He had the body of a dragon but wtf he was small in stature and had a weird elf-head like the Keeber cookie mascots. So this little bite-sized abomination was just casually strolling down the street when Rae noticed him and raised an eyebrow. Leslie continued to smile, because, you know, she's weird and all, and Daphne, clearly uncomfortable with the jarring sight, turned to Rae in disbelief. The two of them began to talk about the random sight and became so invested in their conversation that they had no idea that Leslie decided to just sneak out the window to join this draconic creature.

By the time the two friends realized this, Leslie was already halfway down the block to meet up with the odd beast. Rae quickly saw this and grabbed Daphne so they can hurry on over and grab their friend before she became dragon food.

When Leslie reached the dragon elf, she continued to smile at him. The dragon elf looked back at her and snarled. He was not a fan of smiles, as he was traumatized as a kid. One of his birthday parties features one of those dancing, singing clowns on unicycles that adults randomly thought their kids would appreciate, not knowing that the creepy over-the-top makeup would terrify their tiny tots. At the party, he was having a drink of his sweet tea and the clown came up to him and blew up a balloon. Then he was working on creating a balloon dragon, smiling the entire time in an attempt to provide joy in this child beast's life. Unfortunately the baby  dragon elf sneezed out his fire and the flames burst the balloon dragon, releasing a loud popping noise that deafened the baby dragon elf's precious ears. Since then he was not a fan of clowns, balloons, smiles, or sweet tea, but then again nobody loves that awful drink anyway, sorry not sorry.

Back to the present, the dragon elf took one look at Leslie and opened up his mouth to take a bite of this monkey wannabe. But Daphne swept in like a wrecking ball and randomly started quacking. In the confusion, the elf dragon attempted to release a beam of fire at her, but Rae the Raccoon randomly took a bite out of the elf dragon's foot and he screamed in pain. Leslie continued to stand there frozen like a lunatic instead of trying to move out of the way and Daphne flew in front of her and smacked her in the face to snap her out of it. Rae the Raccoon continued to chomp down on the dragon's foot, so he decided to just kick her far away. His strength alone threw her into the air where she was unceremoniously hit by a plane oops.

Upon seeing the devastating sight, Daphne quacked more at the dragon and the dragon lunged at her with his weird creepy face. With one breath, he released blue flames that quickly roasted the poor duck. With all her friends gone, Leslie continued to stand around with a large smile on her face.

The dragon elf looked at her and scratched his head. He was confused by how stupidly bold she was, so he just decided to flap his little wings and fly away and never have to deal with Leslie's creep stare ever again.

Meanwhile, Leslie just observed her surroundings. Daphne was literally cooked duck now and Rae was now roadkill. Yet she continued to smile. She walked around the scene and it finally began to sink in about the gravity of the situation.

Then she snored loudly and woke up. It had all been a dream and her friends were sitting right next to her while they were watching those annoying kids out the window again. There was no dragon elf after all. It had all been in her head. She decided to stop being creepy and she asked her friends if they wanted to go to the park where they lived happily ever all (despite being prisoners to Arisa xoxo).

THE END