Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

Ugh the way Robin is a true joy the way we bonded early on and it never really got too bad. There were a few instances where I might have doubted her just a ~little~ but she’s been so consistently upfront with me. I don’t deserve someone awesome like her I thought she was distant but she’s just shy. Probably because she’s not putting up with these C L O W N S. Bless

After that divided vote, I wanted to make sure that I had security. I needed to make sure I won the Head of Household competition, which probably meant watching that godawful horse movie. Let me just put on record that out of all four times I have played, I never watched any of these movies the whole way through. The most I did was in S4 and even then it got boring so I skipped through most of it. In s2 I was evicted before then, and in S6 I knew Theodora said she practically made a wiki for it so I knew she was winning that. Going into this one I knew Hottie and Beast AND Hange had already taken notes on it so I knew no matter what, I had to make sure I was good with them because no way was I winning.

I know there was some paranoia about the mystery HOH being purchased, so I had to make sure I deflected any suspicion off of me, and more importantly, off of Beast. Of course everyone started to scramble and do their own thing, asking around trying to find out who had it. I love it. Scooby thinks Hottie has it, Hottie thinks April has it, Rob is a little worried by it but hoping for the best, Christian is being hysterical about it. It’s pandemonium and I’m loving every second. I tried to drill it in Hottie’s head that April and Adam surviving the vote gave them extra money so maybe they finally had enough to buy some stuff. I’m doing whatever I can to sell it to her. The most important part from all this is that nobody suspects us. This is going better than I thought.

Needless to say, Hottie ends up winning HOH and I hear she’s going after the boys. Perfect. Keep me out of it. She wants Adam up. Sounds good to me. Anyone but me!!! I know she lied to me about the Robin vote so at this point I’m thinking I am expendable, especially since she knows exactly who all voted against April.

This is where things get interesting. I take a small nap after I figure things are just going to happen so there’s no need to worry. If I go up I go up. Nothing changing that. So yes keep in mind I am asleep between now and right before veto. Adam is revealed to be co-HOH and everyone I guess starts groveling to him but he’s not really responding to anyone and decides on his own to target Hange while Hottie nominates April. Ummmm what? The fact that both of you are my ideal targets in the short term and NEITHER of you are putting me up, I just can’t! They’re both running on adrenaline and making nonsensical nominations.

So everyone is fighting each other and I’m over here trying to win veto to make sure that I’m not in any danger this week, because I still don’t trust either HOH and they can easily throw me up as a pawn. I flop because Hange is a machine and now they’re upset at Adam which is perfect for me. Less eyes on me. Perfect, love it, stamp it! And Adam still has a chance to make a successful move, and this clown nominates STEFAN. What??? Stefan was a challenge threat who kept you safe, and you nominate him over someone who voted you out and is continuing to be actively against you? BLESS. Adam’s HOH is a flop. He cannot vote this round nor can he compete next round. He was better off buying immunity which is cheaper and not as messy.

Anyway I’m leaning towards April getting the boot, because if she goes, then literally nobody participating in the next HOH would nominate me. If she stays it’s not too bad. Then I have a reason to nominate you/Adam. No blood on my hands. It would be tricky to put up a replacement nominee but whatever. I can throw up Kelly or Hottie. Best case scenario - April leaves this round, which seems possible. Fingers crossed!!

Anyway let’s address the elephant in the room. Yesterday I “proposed” to Beast with a f2 and basically laid it all out for him and he told me he had a f2 already, which was definitely not the reaction I would have ever expected in a million years. If he had a deal already I would have expected him to just say yes or no, but not specify you have someone else. So it was really awkward because I don’t want to put myself in a position where I play really hard and get third. Every time I play this series I always play super cutthroat and I wanted to make a conscious effort in having a relatively clean game, but this time, if I stay loyal and honest and do everything right, then I still come up short. I told him how I felt about it, but now there’s that awkwardness. At this point in the game there are too many people still left for me to worry about petty things like that. Let’s get to jury, let’s get to final ten, final six. Figure it out when we get there. I don’t want to do anything at this point in the game and screw up both our games. But I do need to keep it in mind as I get deeper. Another reason why I refuse to vote out allies who are numbers on my side who wouldn’t mind me going to finals.  

Anyway the people I trust the most after that are Scooby and Christian, so keeping them in as long as I can will be perfect. I need them as contingency plans. I do not want to be having to fight an uphill battle.

Also lmao @ Hottie revealing she voted out Robin. Messy <3

Anyway I can almost confidently say I can throw tonight. Let’s see how eviction pans out first though.

Also fun fact, it seems like I start a lot of paragraphs with “anyway” <3.

Ten rounds, thirteen people evicted, thirteen people left, yet Jackie Burkhart continues to avoid the public call outs.

I mean I’m biased and I don’t know what’s going on but WHAT, IS THIS MY BEST SOCIAL GAME TO DATE? Probably not, I’ve been sloppy a few times oops.

I’m sad Stefan left. He woulda helped take out the people I cannot touch

I am not a religious person AT ALL but if there’s a god then he definitely intervened last night and basically sealed the deal for Adam. I mean there’s a chance Adam somehow stays but he’s a train wreck anyway. He’s not a threat to me whatsoever.

So now we get to that point in the game where I need to distinguish my games from Beast’s. In the weird chance we actually do make finals together, I need to make sure I have a case for myself and not for him. I’ll start practicing my resume soon. I have a lot going on this weekend. My family visiting Sunday, I have a hookup/date tomorrow. I have errands to run today. I wanted to start working on my challenges for my BB game too but I don’t know if it’ll happen. I looked at some old forums for inspiration But I do want to take some time to think about the moves I’ve made and what makes them game-winning moves. I know I’ve done a few things early on but I need to really emphasize how fundamental they were in getting me to this point as well as figure out how to play the rest of the game where I am not simply an extra number for Beast. I know I’m not, but perception is everything and if the jury doesn’t see what I’m actually doing, then it means nothing. I can be a strategic goddess behind the scenes but if I go up and sound like GinaMarie, does it even count???

1. I deliberately laid low in order to avoid being a target.
I know that a lot of people may have an issue with this statement because they may not respect it as a strategy, but from the onset it was very clear that anyone who presented themselves as a threat in ANY capacity were taken out almost immediately, regardless of how well their social game was (ex: Dua Lipa had an amazing social game but it didn’t matter since even her allies considered her a threat, Johnny Lawrence had a strong challenge game and had to be blindsided, etc). I am not the type of player to take a seat in the back but I needed to make myself completely invisible to everyone else while not being perceived as an easy pawn.

2. I developed relationships with as many people as I can in this game without overaligning and when I cut people I still managed to diffuse the situation.
In a game like this, people tend to get overexcited about making alliances with everyone across the board. I knew this was a game where I would have to turn on people so I made it my mission to never promise anything I couldn’t uphold. I would spend time to getting to know people on both a personal and game level. People want to work with people who care about them (don’t believe me? Just ask Adam). Even the times when I outright turned on people, I either avoided them successfully (ex: Klaus, who called out anyone who told him the truth) or told them straight up before eviction (ex: Michael, who did not blow up my game and actually had a nice conversation at the end). It’s all about having a read on players and I had to know when it paid off to be honest and when it didn’t.  

3. I had enough money to transfer to Beast for his mystery HOH.
This might confuse people too but when Johnny left he gave me his money and then I transferred my money to Beast. This was done for a few reasons.

• One, I technically wouldn’t be possessing it so I would never be the one guilty of lying about having it. So if anyone asked if I had it, no I didn’t.
• Two, I needed Beast to have 100% trust in me, and if he didn’t before, I think this sealed the deal for him. I needed to show that if there’s anyone he can trust this season, it’s me. And while that may not seem like a big deal, I absolutely believe it does because I was able to stay on his good side while all his other allies were betrayed by him at one point or another.
• Three, if I transferred money to him, then that means he still needed to transfer money to someone in the chance that he was booted, and who else would like some money more than me? I had to think both short term and long term, and I knew if I did this for him now, he would repay me in the future when it was more crucial to get bucks. The mystery HOH was always going to be a joint decision so it didn’t matter who had it.  

4. Whenever Beast would throw out options that directly conflicted with my interests I would shoot those ideas down.
The prime example of this would be the time Scooby nearly got evicted. Beast approached me and asked me if I wanted to vote him out but Scooby was not going to be someone who came after me so I shot it down and explained that I wanted to keep our group alliance (consisting of me, Michael, Scooby, Beast, Veronica, Christian) strong. It also opened my eyes that Beast had his own game going on and this alliance that HE created was just for show. He still ended up voting Scooby anyway and I made it a priority of mine to make sure he didn’t come after Scooby again.  

5. I knew exactly where the diamond power of veto was the moment it was purchased and knew to weaponize Hottie.
Hottie approached me and asked me for my money but obviously I couldn’t do that since I already gave money away to Beast but I knew she was close to having it and she even told me how she got her money. I wanted to make sure that she was on my side and she even started to express doubt about Beast which was perfect for my game because he would be the one she would likely to use the dpov on, if not me. From the dynamics at that point I also knew she was not as powerful as I thought, as the April/Adam faction already had their claws in about half the house so I knew she had bigger fish to fry and as long as I was not in her top six targets I knew I was golden.




As you can tell, my resume is tooo similar to Beast’s so I need to make my own moves to separate my game from his. I’ll work on it, but yeah this is a rough draft.

Today everyone is working on that god awful battle back competition and everyone has an agenda - some people want to return, some people want to prevent a return, some people only want certain people to return, and some people, like me, honestly do not really care either way.

If someone cool returns then that is an extra ally by my side that I can use as a shield and number. Cough cough Johnny. Or Robin. I would even take Stefan.

If someone awful returns then that means they have immunity this round but the next available round I can just nominate them and April. Easy solution. I cannot win Head of Household yet until I can find some good options for nominations because right now I would do April and Skeeter, which is definitely not the ideal scenario because I actually like Skeeter, but I can use the lone vote that “he” cast against him. The problem with this would be if someone is taken off the block with the veto. That would just suck so much because then I would have go further show my hand and honesty I would not nominate Rob. We struck a deal unfortunately so I am not going back on my word with that, and they must think I’m on crack if they want me to put up Beast or Veronica. So that’s the tricky part. This is why I am throwing altogether.

Well this is not ideal. I definitely did not want Skeeter to win this one and it is so obvious when I go brown nosing that I am doing it strictly out of convenience. This is not the best case scenario at all but I need to make sure I am good with him. I do think I might have some rapport with him where I might not go up right away but who knows?

I am definitely more worried about Dua Lipa though. She probably thought I was one of her closest allies but she was someone I did not have high up in my priorities at all. Plus she was spending time in the evicted players section where she could have easily heard about the game I was playing. Maybe Michael told people how sneaky I really was. Maybe she heard from a ton of people I was with them. I have no idea. It just sucks and I need to suck up to her and figure out where her head is.

This is not an easy feeling. The worst part about her coming back is that she perfectly embodies why my logic for this challenge is flawed. Since we were not close, you would think it is an easy nomination for me then as Head of Household but the problem is that the people I want to work with for now like her. So I cannot just outright nominate her. And the only person I knew who would outright nominate her was Johnny and he’s not here. Everyone else loved her. It will be hard getting her out again.

The longest round ever and I do not have anything more to add except this game took a weird direction with everyone using insults they learned in junior high??

I personally do not take offense to anything said, and even April is not doing anything that bad. But I want to look like the good girl who just wants all the fighting to stop! Please! I give zero fucks about these people damaging their own games so Hurricane Jackie can pass through without incident. Kelly and Hottie 100% brought all this upon themselves for poking the tiger with a stick and when the tiger bites back they retreat back to their parents. I love them both though, but it is a hilarious observation. I think everyone is in the wrong here but like I said, they can continue making their target bigger.

For some reason I get the feeling that I could easily be a replacement option. I do not want to ask Skeeter because I do not want him to think I doubt him, but hello duh I doubt him. It’s like every time he responds to me I’ve had a birthday. I might just ask Beast and get my information that way!!! The way I see it, Hottie is not going home this round, whether she wins the power of veto or she uses the diamond power of veto. I hope she saves it for a while though, but I am worried about what happens if it’s me/Kelly on the block, because no way she uses her veto to save either of us. And no way she keeps me. That is not ideal at all ugh.

The way I was in the severe minority with this vote. Interesting. I guess I need to stop throwing. But these people didn’t surprise me with the vote. But Hange and SZA are being annoying right now.

My biggest fear is April winning HOH. She didn’t even bother approaching me with the vote which means she knew damn well she was staying. Props to her.

The bad thing about Kelly going is I don’t have a backup nomination now. I wanted April/Skeeter up with Kelly as a replacement but Skeeter didn’t put me up. I still might do it but I don’t know if that’s the best decision for me to do it this early with all this tension.

Maybe I should just help Hottie win HOH.

Also, Beast is freaking me out more. I do think he’s making moves that back me in a corner and it’s a little annoying. I mean I get it, he needs to make moves for him too but I feel like there have been so many people who left who I could count on. April is clearly the glue that holds that side together. How annoying. I trust him to an extent and I’ve even defended him when Veronica expressed doubt. But I feel like I am going to regret it later down the line.

He wants to use the mystery HOH to go after Hottie and I am going to be persistent on him nominating Hange and SZA to force them to show their allegiances and show what kind of pitch they’ll do. It’s obvious wasting the mystery HOH on Hottie won’t do much good if the house is going for her anyway.