I had a slow descent into the pits of BB hell last night. I started off the night hopeful. Then I got excited when random people won. I was excited it would trim off some of the people I have to be loyal to but don't want to. Then I was met with mild worry when Aang took forever to name a replacement. Then I was in shock because he spent an hour swearing me safety and now he was trying to backdoor me? I also felt sad to leave the people I wanted to be loyal to. I felt like I was letting them down. Carter and Audrey really came through for me yesterday so that will really solidify where I stand in this game.
Right now it's a fragile dance with Carter and Sandra. Carter doesn't trust Sandra but I need both of them to stay for my own game right now. I choose Carter if I have to choose, but I'm not ready now. I'm giving them both information the other is giving me and putting all my trust that they won't leak on me.
Subject: Re: Confessionals Fri Jul 10, 2020 12:36 am
Confessional for July 9th
Yesterday Audrey won the HOH and the POV. I actually tried in both and she completely blew me out of the water I think lol. I bet she really is Greg now which would be so weird.
She went after Aang. I'm so lucky Marianne's big mouth told her she was supposed to be on the block instead of me. It made her want him out which aligned exactly with what I was hoping for. It was a pretty easy round, easy vote, we're not used to this are we? I really like our new alliance, the 4 Horsemen and I also have my side deals with Sandra, Celine, Haleigh and Carly. I just really need to get Carter and Sandra to hug it out.
Having to suck ass and thank them for my key (I just really hate the fake fluff)
Tyler Durden
Join date : 2020-06-28
Subject: Re: Confessionals Sat Jul 11, 2020 12:31 am
Confessional for July 10th
Last night I won hoh even if I didn't really want to. I had hoped Carter or Sandra would get it since I was sending them answers, but no, I got it lol. I did study that movie all damn day so I guess it's worth it in the end. I know people like Celine, Carly and them probably want me to take a shot at Layla/Carter/Audrey/Sandra, but I don't see why I would do that since they are the only shields I have. Layla/Carter/Sandra wanted me to go after Celine, who is an ally I don't trust, but an ally I like and value nonetheless. It made no sense for me to do that either. What made sense is Marianne because she was co-hoh when I went up and I do believe Aang when he says she pushed for it to be me. Blair is also someone we all seem to forget about, so that's dangerous. She's active, she's nice, but she blends in so well.
I knew I needed that veto because Marianne is scary when she's mad. Well Marianne won veto and I got all emo about it. I'm way too hard on myself when I don't win or pull my weight. I guess this is a competitive nature I picked up playing basketball and football for so many years. I play to win, I don't play to watch. I see this is not the best way to do well in Big Brother.
I tried to use my speech to wake people up. I also wanted to find a way to take some target off me and put it on quieter players. The target on my back can be seen from the moon, so I'm scrambling. Looking back it probably sounded rude. I was mainly talking about those who ask me to nominate people I don't want to nominate and then get pissy when I say no. Those are the people that need to win hoh and do their own dirty work.
Cameron Van Buren likes this post
Saoirse Ronan
Join date : 2020-04-11 Age : 29
Subject: Re: Confessionals Sat Jul 11, 2020 12:08 pm
Tyler Durden wrote:
Having to suck ass and thank them for my key (I just really hate the fake fluff)
This is why I simply never said it lol
Tyler Durden
Join date : 2020-06-28
Subject: Re: Confessionals Sat Jul 11, 2020 3:15 pm
Confessional for July 11th
I was a nervous mess last night. I even got a really bad migraine over it. This game makes me sweat more than when I run sometimes. I was sure I would be in trouble because most of my allies don't really win challenges and Audrey needed to sit this out because she becomes target #1. I know she wanted to go for it because we don't feel safe, but it was better not to.
My butt clenched when I saw Daphne won. Is there a more enigmatic player left in this game than Daphne? She seems to throw everyone under the bus and share information with everyone about everyone. She's also one of the one players I don't have a room with, so I didn't feel safe in the least. I sent her a DM like she does to me every time I win HOH. She replied with promises that I was 100% safe, which was eye candy, but you can't be sure till the veto ceremony ends. I then hear she's going after Nottie.....oh? How am I this lucky? Not only am I safe with such a random person as HOH and she's going after someone that is in my target list? Automatically I think a backdoor plan is in motion. I beg Sandra to try for once, she promises she will. Thank god because I completely failed the trivia question and only Sandra got in. Can't be any happier that she won, kept the nominations the same and we live to see another day.
I also decided to tell everyone that I voted Blair out. I want all the middle voters to start doubting each other.
Saoirse Ronan likes this post
Tyler Durden
Join date : 2020-06-28
Subject: Re: Confessionals Sun Jul 12, 2020 2:52 pm
When Audrey double posted just now I felt like posting ANIMAL CROSSING so bad . It would give away that I'm from season 2 though so I resisted. Villanelle when you read this, I was thinking about you.
Saoirse Ronan likes this post
Saoirse Ronan
Join date : 2020-04-11 Age : 29
Subject: Re: Confessionals Sun Jul 12, 2020 3:29 pm
Not animal crossing
Tyler Durden likes this post
Tyler Durden
Join date : 2020-06-28
Subject: Re: Confessionals Sun Jul 12, 2020 5:09 pm
I don't want this HOH I don't want this HOH I don't want this HOH I don't want this HOH I don't want this HOH
Saoirse Ronan
Join date : 2020-04-11 Age : 29
Subject: Re: Confessionals Sun Jul 12, 2020 5:30 pm
...then why are u still checking in lol
Tyler Durden
Join date : 2020-06-28
Subject: Re: Confessionals Sun Jul 12, 2020 5:36 pm
Because I couldn't have Celine win. Then Celine made a deal she would drop if I won. Carter and AOC of course jumped on that because why not make Tyler have a 4th HOH and not get blood on their hands? I'm in a similar situation this season again. Layla is nicer and all, but she's the bossy ally that gets mad when you don't do what she wants. Carter is the understanding one but she still has her agenda. I'm over-aligned and annoyed.
I didn't put an official post for the 12th because I went to bed after the endurance, but I made a few posts that should have 100 words?
Confessional July 13th
Yesterday was the endurance challenge that I have come to be good at but hate. Who wants to be up for all those hours? I got lucky being able to power nap between 20 minutes. I was worried I wouldn't wake up, but I managed. I really didn't want the HOH but we didn't want Celine to have it either. She's a wild card and I have no idea what she would do with that kind of power. I feel she would spare me but I feel like I would lose an ally. I can't lose Carter, Sandra or Audrey. I rather not lose Layla either but things just feel so weird with her lately. Ever since she got mad at me during the chain HOH for not picking her, it makes me feel like she's bossy and only talks to me when I have power and when she wants me to make her moves. Yesterday she DMd me to make a deal with Celine but then break it. Why didn't you stay up then? Why should I stay up 24 hours to target your target? At least with the other 3, they hide it if they don't agree and let me feel like I can have my plans without risking losing loyalty.
Layla is doing the most in this game to advance and it's off putting at this point. The things I have heard......add the bossy attitude at times and now she is throwing me under the bus to Celine for what reason? Only God and Layla know. I have done nothing to be on her bad side other than not listen when she wants me to make enemies to further her agenda. There was no reason to use me to get gossip from Celine. I'm so annoyed right now. This is not how I thought she was going to be.
I didn't write much or at all yesterday, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed and I need a break after that endurance. That vote stressed me out because I felt a push to save Marianne. I ended up wasting a double vote, but I rather waste it than regret not using it.
Arisa and Saoirse said no to a quiet night. We were hit with a mystery HOH twist and boy was I scared when I didn't win it. My gut felt like Sandra got it, but I also feel like she would have told me? Unless she is really playing the mystery aspect of the twist. I can see Sandra being a stickler for it. I didn't expect Layla and Susie to go up though. If a shot was to be taken, it would be smarter to put Audrey, Carter, or even myself up, which again points me to Sandra. I don't like how people treat her, so I won't push my beliefs and I will keep protecting her best I can. I should probably talk to her more today. I have been quieter with her lately, but I'm just burnt out and working hard socially to keep us all safe.
Layla, I don't even know what to say about her anymore. She has my unwavering loyalty at first, I really liked Layla, but we never really got together to talk game much. II felt like I was her challenge horse, her meat shield, but not her real ally. I didn't feel like there was a sharing of thoughts, it felt like a passive "do as I say or I'll be upset and stomp around". Then there was the HOH chain where she yelled at me for not picking her enough. How did that turn out for you Layla? How did your dumb strategy of picking your allies over and over again turn out for you? It made everyone know you were with them. I escaped it narrowly because I made an effort to be smart when making my picks. I get that Penny and them were picking each other too, but perhaps it was an HOH to let them have and work on safety through our social skills. At this point I am still loyal to her. I just see that our paths are going down different roads, but I'm trying to steer it back in the right direction.
I'm not even clear on everything that happened here but somehow Layla found out that Audrey threw the trio under the bus and she lashed out at Audrey. Things were getting messy, distrust was forming, but Tyler wanted to keep all his ladies happy and wanted us all to turn the page and continue trucking along.
I was getting annoyed at the random DMs I would get here and there from Layla "You need to win this HOH, we need Celine out. We need Sandra out. We need Carly out." My message in my last HOH about people winning themselves to do their own dirty work was exactly because of that. I didn't like how she wanted me to take shots at people that I like, just because she doesn't. I had no reason to go after them so most of the time I would ignore it until I had no choice to answer lol.
Through all this, I have been getting closer to Sandra, Carter, Audrey and Carly so I didn't really know how to navigate Layla anymore. I didn't want her gone, I just had no idea what to do or say anymore to make her happy without ruining my own game. It became extremely annoying to navigate around, but I'm a loyal person so I was trying to stick to my word while still doing what I want. This, until she threw me under the bus to Celine. Ran to tell me but told Celine to keep it a secret. So I know she was pinning Celine and I against each other because she's mad I won't put Celine up. None of her excuses made sense. She tried to say that when I lied to Celine about putting up Layla/Carter, I was throwing her under the bus. The thing is I said that to throw suspicions that I'm with them. I ran and told them right away. I won HOH and didn't touch them. How is that the same as telling Celine things I say about her? She makes me feel like I'm crazy. She makes me feel like I'm the worst person and ally in the world, but to me, she's not a very good ally either.
It doesn't even end there. I found out so many things in the last few days, including a plan she had to get Nottie to come after me and take me out if he stayed. She was building a small group of people to take me out. She doesn't know that I know, so she is still acting so innocent. Acting like I'm the big bad guy who betrayed her. I wasn't the mystery HOH. I had no real influence on their nominations since I'm not entirely sure who they are, and I know things Layla did to directly target me, while I have never once done anything for anyone to target her.
Subject: Re: Confessionals 
. It would give away that I'm from season 2 though so I resisted. Villanelle when you read this, I was thinking about you.